twisted tales

I always loved her. Since I first laid eyes on her. Her long blonde hair, her blue dress, her high socks and black shoes. She was perfect. She was mine. What do you think, I’m fucking crazy? This stupid white rabbit can’t love? Yeah, that’s what they all think. But I can. I can love. I have loved. I do love. I loved so much it took over me, it controlled my life. And look at me now. I know you’re judging me. I know you’ve read the news papers; crazed white rabbit, under the influence, murderer. But I did it for her! It was all for her! It was always for HER!! Count to ten rabbit. Deep breaths. You all look at me with your judging eyes, but you’ll never know what I went through and what I did for her. For Alice.
It all started when the Queen asked me to pick up her shipment of flamingos from across the rabbit hole. I had just come through and there she was, standing there, wide eyed. She was a vision. She began to call after me, “White Rabbit! Oh, White Rabbit!” I still remember it like it was yesterday. I can say very confidently that it was love at first sight. I hid in the bushes thinking of how I could get her back to Wonderland. I hopped back out and she started to chase after me, it was the perfect plan. I loved the feeling of her chasing after me. I worried that as soon as I went through the rabbit hole she would give up and turn around, but she didn’t. She followed me all the way back to Wonderland. I finally had her, she would be mine.
For some time after this I watched her as she made her way through Wonderland. I purchased a camera from the Cheshire Cat and began to take some pictures of her. What, does that sound strange to you? You think I’m fucking crazy? Well I’m not. I loved her. I wanted to have her with me at all times. All times. I put up the pictures in what used to be my spare room. They covered the walls, along with news paper articles about a strange girl adventuring Wonderland, and plans scribbled about our future. I never wanted to be without her. On a Tuesday I got a camera developed from her day with the Tweedles. That was when I saw how Tweedle Dum looked at her. I went into rage. I tore up the pictures of their day and burned them to ash. She was mine! Nobody else’s! Then, I went after him, but I won’t go into details. The next day the newspapers read: Tweedle Dum found brutally murdered in the Tulgey Wood, but no one suspected me. Why would they? I’m just a little innocent white rabbit who works for the Queen, I would never do such a thing. Later that week Bill the Lizard from down the street dropped by to check the new straw on my roof. He noticed that I seemed off.
“You can tell me Rabbit. I’ve known you for 35 years now. Come on, what is it?” I explained to him that I was in love. I didn’t dare tell him who though. I explained how hard it was loving her, how much I wanted to be with her, and how it killed me to see her with other people. Bill set a plastic bag filled with white powder on the table. “Snort this, you’ll feel like a million bucks.”
And that started it all. After that day I began using the white powder nearly every opportunity I could. And, I did feel like a million bucks. I knew that with this special powder I could do anything, I could win Alice.
The following week I was sitting in her room, admiring the recent pictures of her day with the flowers. She looked beautiful. All of the sudden I heard someone outside. It was her. This was my chance. I quickly snorted some white powder and ran down stairs.
“White Rabbit! Oh, White Rabbit! Is that you?” My heart skipped a beat hearing her speak my name.
I asked her if she would like to come inside for some tea, and she agreed. She was in my house, sitting on my sofa, drinking out of my tea cups. I made a note to keep that tea cup. It was all too good to be true. We got to talking about her adventures, who she had met so far, and her sadness due to the loss of Tweedle Dum. This angered me, but I put it aside. I couldn’t blow my chances now. I moved in closer to her and put my hand on her thigh. She politely moved away and smiled.
“What, I can’t touch you? I brought you here! If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t even be here right now! And I can’t even touch you?” I stood up and threw the table to the floor.
“Rabbit you’re scaring me! I’m sorry I just don’t feel that way. You’re a great friend and I’m so glad you brought me here but I- I’m sorry… you’re a rabbit!”
I got up and screamed at her to get the hell out of my house. She left, tears in her eyes. I wanted so badly to run out there, wipe away her tears, tell her of how much I loved her and how I never meant to scare her. But it was too late, she was gone. I snorted my 6th line of white powder that day and proceeded towards the Queen’s castle. If I couldn’t have Alice, then nobody could. And I would make sure of that.
“Why are you here Rabbit?” the Queen questioned.
“It’s about Alice. Well your majesty, she was just at my house. She told me horrible things! She said that she has come to Wonderland with the intentions of stealing your thrown!”
“Your nose is bleeding, Rabbit.”
“Oh, sorry. Well, as your adviser and dear friend I think it is best to do away with that infiltrator. That back stabbing whore, that heart breaking wench, that”
“Rabbit.”
The Queen agreed that it was in her best interest to behead Alice, so she could continue to rule Wonderland without any difficulties. I knew that if she lived, she would continue to haunt me, continue to torment me, continue to not deny me. I knew that I could be with her in another life, Rabbit’s don’t live very long after all.
Don’t you see, I did this all for her! It was for us, for our life together! No one will ever love her like I do. No one will ever look at her the way I do. No one! Why should anybody else have her? Why?! They fucking shouldn’t! That’s the answer. Look at me, no one will ever know what I went through. No one writes to me here. No one even visits me. Why would they? They just don’t understand. I did it all for her, for us, for Alice.